• If a painting can be forged well enough to fool experts, why is the original so valuable?  George Carlin
  • Rembrandt painted 700 pictures. Of these, 3,000 are in existence.
    Wilhelm Bode
  • Who among us has not gazed at a painting of Jackson Pollock's and thought, 'What a piece of crap'?
    Rob Long
  • Did you hear about the ship that ran aground carrying a cargo of red and black paints? The entire crew was marooned.
    William Bishop
  • A picture is worth a thousand words - particularly if you can't read.
    Harry Hershfield
  • If someone tells you that you have enough art supplies and that you don’t need anymore, divorce them immediately.
  • A bumper sticker for artists: "My other car is a bike, too."
  • How many visitors to an art gallery does it take to change a light bulb?
    Two. One to do it and one to say "Huh! My four-year old could've done that!"
  • Why can't you trust artists? Because they are always a bit sketchy, a bit shady, and they will always try to frame you. I think you get the picture.
  • What's an Etch-A-Sketch artist's worst nightmare? An earthquake.
  • I went to study under a pickup artist. Still no luck with women, but my truck looks great.
  • What kind of underwear does an artist wear?  Drawers

(Thanks to ; ;  and various warped friends.  ENJOY A MORE HILARIOUS THAN THIS IN 2020!)